does bdd ever go away? sometimes i feel as though i’ll be stuck in this fucked up mind and body forever. and that no matter what, the talking the therapy the compliments, the affirmations my existence will only change with a physical reincarnation. of some sort. at least. at least. at least. i know no one said that it was going to be easy, but also shouldn’t be this hard no.
when i tell people especially girls and they say “oh i have that too, don’t worry about it.” how do i tell them that it is different?
how do i tell them that i can’t stand the heat not because i don’t like the sun but because my body is too big for it
i cant go out dancing because someone will recognized how fucked up i look and tell me i’m disgusting
i cannot for the life of me just hook up with people i don’t know because i’m so scared of my own body.
this creature that i live in isn’t me. if only i had enough money and time for all the surgeries in the world, then maybe one day i could go swimming or wear a tee shirt in public.
if only i could be me in front of others.
so is this what you have too? i wish i could say.